HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY...UNLESS
It's been a little while - since I put pen to paper...or in my case - typed frantically with one finger!
Over the past month or so - the subject of HONESTY has come up frequently in my dealings with clients and candidates.
We are all taught from a very young age that lying is wrong and that it is ALWAYS best to tell the truth. However; as we mature and experience life; it becomes apparent that the truth often has consequences. We also learn that many people would just prefer to not know the truth.
This is especially true when it comes to employment, job search & interviewing.
One of the most popular reasons candidates give (initially) for wanting to leave a job...is what they describe as "not being a good cultural fit". This is really a catch phrase - that encompasses a wide array of subjects...that reveal themselves with further investigation.
TRUTH TRANSLATION:
- I loved the person who hired me. Unfortunately; after 3 months - they left and I hate the person that has replaced them.
- My co-workers don't "pull their weight" and I am stuck doing all the work.
- I am 24 years old -- and everyone who I work with reminds me of my parents' friends. I need a younger...more energetic environment.
- I thought this would be a "creative" environment - but Pharmaceutical Advertising is the most boring subject on earth.
So...after digging...and getting at THE REAL REASONS for wanting to make a move...what do we do? We quickly realize that this information is good for me to know - as their CAREER AGENT. However; we also realize that these TRUTHS are NOT ACCEPTABLE to share with prospective employers.
Prospective employers want to hear that despite any "CHALLENGES" you experienced...you are appreciative of the opportunity you had been given by this other employer...that you did your best...and you acquired valuable experience that will assist them.
THIS IS THE "ACCEPTABLE" INTERVIEW INFORMATION EXCHANGE.
Why? Because they assume you will speak about them the same way you do about your current/previous employer. There is an assumption made that if you engage in discussing problems...or disconnects...that in some way...you share responsibility for the situation. Frankly; there is an EXPECTATION OF POSITIVITY placed on the candidate. There's little room for sharing anything other than SMILES, HIGH ENERGY, ENTHUSIASM, etc.
It's really the same idea that we understand in our personal interactions. When a friend or acquaintance asks "HOW ARE YOU DOING?"...they are generally NOT looking for the truth. Instead; this question is more of a cultural pleasantry - not aimed at starting a deeper conversation about WHERE YOU ARE TRULY AT IN YOUR LIFE. In fact; 99% of us - AUTOMATICALLY reply "GOOD" when asked that question.
People are not looking for your TRUTH.
They do not want to know:
- your cat died last night and you are heartbroken
- you have a headache & your feet hurt
- you have a terminally ill relative and it is depressing you
- you are experiencing tremendous financial challenges
- you are arguing constantly with your significant other and it's upsetting you
These are all REAL + TRUTHFUL responses...and things we can all relate to...however - it still remains information we are rarely interested in hearing.
This principle also applies to CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM or feedback I may like to give...or that my clients REALLY WOULD LIKE TO PROVIDE to candidates...but for legal, moral, and ethical reasons cannot.
My clients and I would often like to have the freedom to say:
- you have a shitty attitude & over-inflated sense of self worth
- you look like a discheveled and disorganized mess
- you have great skills - but appear "socially awkward"
- your track record of "personality conflicts" seems to be largely your fault
- your breath reeks of garlic & your tie is awful
- frankly; I don't understand how you made it... this far
- that was not eye contact...that was staring at me like a mental patient
But alas...we too resort to the ALL ENCOMPASSING CATCH PHRASE..."THEY FELT YOU WERE JUST NOT A GOOD FIT".
There is something very free-ing about speaking the truth. However; in most instances - we are forced to speak this truth in the form of gossip & not directly to the individual.
So...the next time you think that you will just tell the interviewer "THE TRUTH"...understand that is likely NOT what they really want to hear.
Remember this famous movie quote:
"YOU WANT THE TRUTH...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
Interviewing is a GAME...with unspoken rules of engagement & expectations. This is where having Recruiter/Career Agent to choreograph this dance is invaluable!
"DOING THE RIGHT THING IS GOOD...DOING THE RIGHT THING WHEN NOBODY IS LOOKING - IS THE TRUE TEST OF ONE'S CHARACTER - SK
Over the past month or so - the subject of HONESTY has come up frequently in my dealings with clients and candidates.
We are all taught from a very young age that lying is wrong and that it is ALWAYS best to tell the truth. However; as we mature and experience life; it becomes apparent that the truth often has consequences. We also learn that many people would just prefer to not know the truth.
This is especially true when it comes to employment, job search & interviewing.
One of the most popular reasons candidates give (initially) for wanting to leave a job...is what they describe as "not being a good cultural fit". This is really a catch phrase - that encompasses a wide array of subjects...that reveal themselves with further investigation.
TRUTH TRANSLATION:
- I loved the person who hired me. Unfortunately; after 3 months - they left and I hate the person that has replaced them.
- My co-workers don't "pull their weight" and I am stuck doing all the work.
- I am 24 years old -- and everyone who I work with reminds me of my parents' friends. I need a younger...more energetic environment.
- I thought this would be a "creative" environment - but Pharmaceutical Advertising is the most boring subject on earth.
So...after digging...and getting at THE REAL REASONS for wanting to make a move...what do we do? We quickly realize that this information is good for me to know - as their CAREER AGENT. However; we also realize that these TRUTHS are NOT ACCEPTABLE to share with prospective employers.
Prospective employers want to hear that despite any "CHALLENGES" you experienced...you are appreciative of the opportunity you had been given by this other employer...that you did your best...and you acquired valuable experience that will assist them.
THIS IS THE "ACCEPTABLE" INTERVIEW INFORMATION EXCHANGE.
Why? Because they assume you will speak about them the same way you do about your current/previous employer. There is an assumption made that if you engage in discussing problems...or disconnects...that in some way...you share responsibility for the situation. Frankly; there is an EXPECTATION OF POSITIVITY placed on the candidate. There's little room for sharing anything other than SMILES, HIGH ENERGY, ENTHUSIASM, etc.
It's really the same idea that we understand in our personal interactions. When a friend or acquaintance asks "HOW ARE YOU DOING?"...they are generally NOT looking for the truth. Instead; this question is more of a cultural pleasantry - not aimed at starting a deeper conversation about WHERE YOU ARE TRULY AT IN YOUR LIFE. In fact; 99% of us - AUTOMATICALLY reply "GOOD" when asked that question.
People are not looking for your TRUTH.
They do not want to know:
- your cat died last night and you are heartbroken
- you have a headache & your feet hurt
- you have a terminally ill relative and it is depressing you
- you are experiencing tremendous financial challenges
- you are arguing constantly with your significant other and it's upsetting you
These are all REAL + TRUTHFUL responses...and things we can all relate to...however - it still remains information we are rarely interested in hearing.
This principle also applies to CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM or feedback I may like to give...or that my clients REALLY WOULD LIKE TO PROVIDE to candidates...but for legal, moral, and ethical reasons cannot.
My clients and I would often like to have the freedom to say:
- you have a shitty attitude & over-inflated sense of self worth
- you look like a discheveled and disorganized mess
- you have great skills - but appear "socially awkward"
- your track record of "personality conflicts" seems to be largely your fault
- your breath reeks of garlic & your tie is awful
- frankly; I don't understand how you made it... this far
- that was not eye contact...that was staring at me like a mental patient
But alas...we too resort to the ALL ENCOMPASSING CATCH PHRASE..."THEY FELT YOU WERE JUST NOT A GOOD FIT".
There is something very free-ing about speaking the truth. However; in most instances - we are forced to speak this truth in the form of gossip & not directly to the individual.
So...the next time you think that you will just tell the interviewer "THE TRUTH"...understand that is likely NOT what they really want to hear.
Remember this famous movie quote:
"YOU WANT THE TRUTH...YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
Interviewing is a GAME...with unspoken rules of engagement & expectations. This is where having Recruiter/Career Agent to choreograph this dance is invaluable!
"DOING THE RIGHT THING IS GOOD...DOING THE RIGHT THING WHEN NOBODY IS LOOKING - IS THE TRUE TEST OF ONE'S CHARACTER - SK
