LIKE ME - FRIEND ME - CONNECT WITH ME... HAVE WE MET?

We are living in an amazing period - where we literally can reach thousands of people with a message or thought at the click of a button. Social Media, email, and texting have extended our communication reach exponentially - but at what cost?

Due to our DESIRE TO ACQUIRE... we are programmed to believe that by accumulating "FRIENDS", "CONNECTIONS", "LIKES", etc -- we are truly growing our network and somehow this will translate into positive results both personally and professionally. This illusion is flawed for one major reason. The quality of the network you build hinges on MEANINGFUL/PERSONAL relationships you develop over time that require LIVE HUMAN CONTACT.

This is not to say that social media "pen pals" cannot prove to be a valuable asset -- but they are not as powerful as relationships built in the REAL WORLD that are carried into the social media space.

Conversely, there is opportunity to develop a social media connection into a meaningful personal relationship --- and I would encourage everyone to selectively set out to do this.

Our current culture has contributed greatly to making communication - in general -- less personal. These electronic gadgets that were supposed to have made us more productive (blackberrys, laptops, i-pads) have blurred any understanding of "work hours". Therefore, by ALWAYS being reachable --- accessible --- on call --- we look to communicate in the quickest, most efficient manner possible. As a result of our heavy workloads and our crazy commitment to multi-tasking... we choose to email, text, instant message, post an update as a PRIMARY means of communicating. While it has become universally acceptable --- this has made communication very IMPERSONAL. In fact, these social media platforms have even changed the way we define FRIENDS + CONNECTIONS.

I will go a step further to say that this has actually DAMAGED many existing relationships --- both personal & professional. This is happening because while at the same time these methods of communicating have become acceptable/necessary time-savers --- that we employ -- EVEN FOR THOSE WE LIKE TO INTERACT WITH... we also use these methods to AVOID speaking to someone live. This last point is the one that we need to look at. Are we emailing or texting because we simply don't have the time (at this moment) to speak to that person -- or are we doing this so that we do not have to speak to that person?

Sometimes --- I don't know what to think. I just know that complete reliance on electronic correspondence --- over time -- is a sure way to have a relationships lose value and speaks to the honest interest one party has in having a REAL RELATIONSHIP.

When it comes to searching for a job and networking;  social media should be used as a means to get FACE TIME! Many jobseekers make the mistake of "working their network" with thoughtful messages, requests and correspondence.... only. There is no substitute for meeting someone --- looking them in the eye --- shaking their hand and getting to know them. An in-person meeting will enlist far more advocates in your job search than an amount of online networking ever will.  

If you are a professional contemplating a career move; look to MEET with people in your network to discuss your search -- rather than solely relying on electronic correspondence.

 If you are a recent grad or in between jobs... ask for exploratory or informational interviews that will allow you to meet FACE TO FACE!

If your DESIRE TO ACQUIRE is telling you you need more CONNECTIONS, FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS, LIKES... remember that QUALITY is better than QUANTITY! In addition, it is important to recognize that the most important FRIENDS, ALLIES, ASSOCIATES you will ever get... are the ones YOU ALREADY HAVE! So instead of paying so much attention to growing your network to impressive numbers --- you may want to focus on nurturing relationships with the very important people you already are connected to!

At the end of the day --- it is your responsibility to curate the types of professional relationships you wish to have. Remember, the reason many of these people "connected" to you in the first place --- was because of the REAL WORLD relationship you developed.


"Most of the important things in the world have
been accomplished by people who have kept on
trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
~Dale Carnegie~

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